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		March 28, 2002   YOU WON'T BELIEVE NEWS This page is all fiction... a satire. YBN NEWS LOOKS AT MIDDLE EAST FUTURE This just in, from one year from today........ President George W Bush today called on Palestinian Authority Leader Yasser Arafat to use his authority to stop attacks against Israel. After the 100th terrorist attack this year, which in total have now killed half the Israeli population, Bush declared "This senseless violence must stop. We have serious doubts whether Chairman Arafat can be a partner in peace." Former Israeli Prime Minster Ehud Barak said "we cannot continue to live under the threat of tewwowism." Since Israel destroyed all of Arafat's headquarters last year, Arafat has had to improvise for an office. Speaking from a converted port-a-potty, Arafat condemned the latest attack, even though video clearly shows him detonating the bomb which killed a hundred Israelis. In response to the video, Bush said "He'd better not do that again!" Meantime, the Arab League passed a resolution condemning the 100 Israelis for congregating in one place to make such an inviting target. One delegate called it another clear Zionist provocation. The United Nations Security Council is expected to take up the same resolution tomorrow. A new Gallup poll of Arabs in the 21 Arab Countries shows that 75 percent of them believe that no Israelis have actually been killed, and that the video of the aftermath of the attacks is a fraud. The other 25 percent believe the Mossad has been killing its own citizens in the hopes of making the Palestinians look bad. As one of the respondents said "just because most of us can't read or write, that doesn't mean we're stupid." DISNEY MAKES OFFER TO FOX REPORTER Disney officials have made what has been termed "a very serious six figure offer" to KTTV reporter Ed Laskos. YWB News has learned that Disney has had their eye on Laskos for a long time. According to one Disney source who asked to remain anonymous, "We believe Ed Laskos can give us something that one one else can. It is our intention to take Laskos and his photographer, and use their stories as an attraction at Disneyland and Disneyworld. The way they use that shaky video with that camera rocking back and forth, it will be better than the Tea Cups. I want to throw up just talking about it. But the kids will love it!"  For last week's YWB News, please click on www.RonFineman.com/ywbn020321.html